THE HARDEST WORKING JOKE

Okay, here goes... (Maybe we'll make it to the punch line this time!) One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner--Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make." "And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!" The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?" "I'm marrying a Russet!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement." "And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!" "You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?" "I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter. "An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!" Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make." "Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation. "Well," began t he youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!" "Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?" "I'm marrying Dan Rather!" "DAN RATHER?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"

Girls night out( Dirty Joke)

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Mommy . . . What is Courting?

One day little Johnny came home from school and asked hismom about curting. Flustered, she replied, "Tonight go watchyour sister when she comes home with her boyfriend. That's courting.
" The next day, Johnny tells his mother what happened. "Well,Sis and her boyfriend came home last night and sat on thecouch. They started kissing and stuff and I think sis wasgetting sick because she kept making faces. Her boyfriendmust have thought so to, because he started feeling for herheartbeat like the doc. He wasn't as good as the Dr. though,he missed an awful lot. That's when the fever started. Iknow it was a fever because sis said she was really hot. Then her boyfriend ripped off her blouse and bra, and I sawwhy he couldn't get to her heart, there were these big bumpson her chest! He then ripps off her skirt and undies and shehas grown a lot of hair there, she should clean it moreoften. I guess her boyfriend thought so to because hestarted sucking there, licking and using his fingers. Thensis yelled out to God and unzipped her boyfriend's pants. This big snake jumped out and sis started to try and biteit's head off. She stopped trying an then it squirted allover the couch. Then sis took off his pants and sat on thesnake, I think they were trying to squish it. Sis started tobounce up and down on it. She said it was nearly as big asDaddy's! Suddenly, she stopped and said she wasn't onanything, but her boyfriend said it was too late. They hadboth cum. So, did I explain it right?"
His mom fainted.

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