A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."From out in the audience a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" the judge shouted back. He turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You goddamned tightwad!" blurted the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman withan electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout.
The Judge thunders back "If you don''t tell me the reason for your outbursts rightnow, I will hold in contempt!"
"I''ve lived next to that lying bastard for ten years now, but do you think he ever had a f*****g tool when I needed to borrow one!"